A forced trip down memory lane

These past few days have been weird and time has been abundant, the only reason i am writing that is because i am sure everyone can relate. I have been trying to blog and write about random stuff for well, a while, and for this while nothing could come out, not because o had nothing to say but because i was afraid of rejection (who likes it anyway?).


With all this time in my hands and a lot of ideas came to my mind, some of them are not even worth writing down to be fair, but i am trying to bess less judgy towards myself and to just let things flow and find their path. Maybe this blog will become a regular thing or maybe this will be its first and last post. It's hard to say because i have no clue what kind of tricks my brain will play on me for the next few days.


What I really wanted to write about was photography and the first time ever i held a camera or the first time i decided to spend half of my salary to buy a used canon 550d to learn everything from scratch and how crazy is that, it all happened three years ago, in a mystical land called Morocco where I lived for about two long and dusty years (maybe i will tell you all more about it on another post, if another post happens).


A friend of mine found the camera for me, he knew way more about it than I did and said it was a great deal. Honestly, i have always wanted to work with photography but i never believed i would ever be good enough to make it out there, and that already was enough, in my brain, to never even try. I felt like my soul was slipping through my fingers every day because I was postponing all my dreams and goals because I was helping other people live their dreams and to achieve their own goals, for a minimum wage.

Gosh, i try not to think how much time i wasted not trusting myself, not facing my fears, not giving myself the benefit of the doubt.

I am still very amateur and yet, i feel 10000% better than three years ago, so instead of beating myself up for not having started earlier i try to imagine how my pictures will look in three years from now.

In three years i have worked twice for the same Danish brand, i have worked for a Swedish group, I have helped two french women with their brands and portfolio, I have snapped some photos for a surf and yoga retreat, worked for another retreat, and had a few invitations to work with surf houses around the globe. I have saved some bucks to buy better lenses, cameras and even a computer (how fancy). I have taken a zillion pictures for free because i LOVED what i was doing and needed the creativity boost(all my friends know that and i hope they pay me back in poke bowls one day, no pressure).

I started taking water photos last October when i was able to buy a water housing and i dont even know how many miles i have swam or mostly likely been washed by strong currents, how many times i have swam back to the beach with my heart in my hands because i thought i was never gonna come back alive (another post, maybe), how many times i had been so excited to see the photos only to realize they were all ruined by water drops, or how i always seemed to be in the wrong spot.

But here I am, three years later, doing all these things I love and consider super rad, for a living. Yes, i still have a side job, yes sometimes i have to babysit and wait tables because i can't get enough money from it, but it is my career and all im being is 100% honest with y'all (mum, you still there?).

If in three years i was able to teach myself photography and editing from scratch and to save enough money to buy more and better equipment i really cannot wait to see what the future holds.

Stay tuned, fellow readers.


xoxo


Caroline


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